D'bate

Dear Senator McCain,

Stop it with your "storytime with the chil'rens!" tone of voice. It sounds infuriatingly patronizing.

And stop calling us "my friends."

I'm not your friend.

No love,
Me


Dear Senator Obama,

Your hesitation is making you sound unsure.

I'm waiting for you to give in to the temptation to simply tackle McCain.

<3,
Me


Dear Tom Brokaw,

SUCH LOVE. YOU SCHOOL THOSE SUPERFLUOUSLY-ELOQUENT, SELF-CENTERED POLITICIANS! Keep them on the straight and narrow, crack the whip, poke 'em with the chair!

Love always,
Me